I write the words that plague my dreams. And dream up words that haunt my days. I’m figuring out my meaning in life and I can’t promise you the words I write will be anything other than they are: partly fiction and partly everything I’ve ever wanted to say. Rising Sophomore at BU I write to keep me sane.
"After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music."
I wonder when I lost hope
When my words faded and drifted into the air
Until they found a new soul to suck life from
I don’t remember forgetting you
But you’re shrouded in shadows
And I can’t even remember what color your eyes are.
I didn’t want you enough
I was losing you before the post
Because you were never mine.
I submersed my self in alone
Claiming this was the world
And I needed to feel this part of it.
I’d forgotten what alone felt like
How loneliness blurred my vision with tears
And made me succumb to my darkest thoughts
Took over my body and had me so close to committing atrocious acts against myself.
I’d never though…
I fear I’d take it too far
Plunging myself into eternal emptiness
At least this,
This is only
I’d rather spend all my time sleeping
At least familiar faces dwell in my dreams
I’m not alone in that darkness
But I awoke in the dark and I’m alone
Lights won’t show
And the dull ache behind my eyes
Proves I’m never satisfied.
Whispers behind that door
Are clear shouts,
It’s still dark
And I’m filled with doubt.
This doesn’t feel good
But I’d do it again.
I need this crawling in my skin to dissipate
And this tightness in my chest to subside
My hands are shaking
But I’m not sure if it’s nerves or excitement.
So stoked…I’ve already got 3 concerts to go to this year! Arctic Monkeys in February, Sam Smith in March, and Fall Out Boy and Paramore in June. I guess I should say 4 because Warped is always a given!
How do I
Take you seriously
When every bit of what you say
Is a phase?
Why should I listen to your words
When you’ll soon simmer down
To a hypocritical hum?
You can’t tell me it’s the way
If you’ve only been aware since dawn.
What if I don’t want to go
And silence is too much for me now
What if alone isn’t what I thought it was
And instead it’s turned to lonely
I don’t really know what I’m doing
I’ve these’s aspirations
But no motivation
The only reassurance I have
Are the dreams I remember but glimpses of.
Is that enough?
Jealous when I don’t even have to be
Even after I relinquished her hold on me
I said I was petty
But I never fully grasped what a pathetic mess I am.
A child still lies behind this stoic exterior.
Possess a person
So why does my mind keep screaming,
Maybe I’m just trying to get a rise in you
Hell I know I am
And maybe it’s just little things like not saying bye
And curt hellos
Maybe I’ll stop telling you about my day
I want you to miss me that way
Wonder what you’ve done or what’s wrong with me
Ponder how to fix it
I just want me in your head
I’m taking note of everything
And trailing kisses up her thighs
It’s our secret
Won’t you look me in the eyes?
It’s a one night stand
I promised I wouldn’t fall
But perhaps I tripped
It’s my secret
I won’t remember your name
Or most of our happenings
I’m spreading tequila flavor all over your skin
After the fifth shot I’m sure it all soaked in